SF Bay Area

The Palo Alto Daily News Has A Cool Website!

2006-12-14T14:50:00.000-08:00

Wow...what a transformation. They went from this to this.

Keep up the good work people!

Mike loves the claw game

2006-12-10T14:23:00.000-08:00

Mike loves the crane machines and trying to get toys. Don't tell him I told you, but Mike has been telling me he's a master at these machines. I have yet to see him win anything :) :) :)

Below is a picture of Mike using a claw and me trying to help guide him. It looks like Mike and I are looking deeply in to each other's eyes, but this is just the angel the photo was taken from :)

Huge thanks to photographer Marc Wiesner for the great shot.

A New Day in Kalamazoo

2006-12-05T17:31:00.000-08:00

Haha, I thought it'd be fun to search Google News to see what the heck is going on in Kalamazoo. But it's an important part of America, so Mike & I have a responsiblity to keep readers in the loop.

According to WWMT TV, the economic picture in Kalamazoo is improving.

The Greater Kalamazoo Assocation of Realtors says home sales within the Kalamazoo school district increased seven percent in the last year.

Smokers Go Overboard With at Belmont City Council

2006-12-05T17:26:00.000-08:00

Smokers are getting a little too passionate with their e-mails to the Belmont city council.

ne person writes, "I would like to take a 747 loaded with fuel and visit your worthless" City Council. Another writes, "You people must not have much to worry about if all you do is stomp on smokers."

Look, I think it is absurd to ban smoking entirely, but that doesn't make it ok to send death threats to city council members.

Bank of America Gives $1M to SCU

2006-12-05T17:16:00.000-08:00

That's a good chunk of change! Sounds like most of it will go towards a new business building.

In other news, the SCU Basketball team beat the crap out of San Jose State recently.

80's TV Show Intros 2

2006-12-05T17:04:00.000-08:00

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Married With Children

Apparently, the show is aired in Turkey, which is why you have subtitles in Turkish.

Full House

80's TV Show Introductions

2006-12-05T16:58:00.000-08:00

No intro needed for these classic gems :)

Growing Pains

Golden Girls

Who's The Boss

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

2006-12-05T16:52:00.000-08:00

This show used to scare the crap out of me. I was 9 years old give me a break!(besides, it scared you too.)

If this makes you want to watch the show bad...here's a link to an episode.

Murder, She Wrote

2006-12-05T16:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I posted a video with the Matlock intro, so it's only fair that we continue with the cheesy show intros today. Below is the introduction to the Murder, She Wrote series.

Matlock!

2006-12-04T18:22:00.000-08:00

HAHAHA :) the intro uses what used to be sophisticated special effects by taking pics of the cast next to video footage of themselves.

Beautiful San Francisco Elevator Ride

2006-12-04T18:20:00.000-08:00

Wow...what a stunning video. I think I've used that word to describe another video before :) I'll need to check. Anyways, it's really cool how the dude who made the video slowed down the elevator ride to make things more dramatic and added music:

Duct Tape Merchandise

2006-12-04T18:16:00.000-08:00

This dude should open a store in Santa Clara! I'd buy from him & so would Mike :)

Letterman plays a prank of Richard Simmons

2006-12-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Check out this hillarious video:

It's great to see that Richard Simmons is still funny and cool in his own weird way. I've always respected the fact that he uses real people trying to improve their weight in his excercise videos...not perfectly fit models.

The Original Pancake House

2006-12-03T10:51:00.000-08:00

Mike, Catherine, and I are about to go eat at The Original Pancake House. Althought they're a chain with tons of locations, they really do a good job of keeping the feel of an individually owned restaurant. How do they do that? By taking out all the professional bs that IHOP has going, plus their menu is almost identical to the way it was 50 years ago.

If you haven't been there yet, their South Bay locations in San Jose, Fremont, and Los Altos.

Driving to SF along 280

2006-10-30T16:15:00.000-08:00

Chcek out this surreal feeling video made by one of the co-founders of YouTube.

It's a quick version of the beautiful drive along 280 to San Francisco.

High Voltage On Alma Street

2006-10-30T15:58:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen this sign?

It's on Alma Street in Palo Alto. What a cool way to say "watch out, this place is dangerous!"

Btw, this pic belongs to Flickr user Esthr.

We're Still Here

2006-10-24T11:53:00.000-07:00

There is lots to discuss. Technology in the Bay Area, life, and most importantly, Mr. Wiesner. Expect more soon.

We're Back!

2006-09-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

Mike & I have been on a temporary leave of absence blogging about Target.

But, don't you worry, we're back and ready to discuss Bay Area life!

Ode to Netflix

2006-05-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

Your concerns are important to us. We will contact you as quickly as possible.

Request Summary

From:
Michael Wiesner (mwiesner@gmail.com)

To:
Netflix Customer Service

Subject:
Shipping and Receiving DVDs

Description:
Netflix sent me an e-mail stating they had received my notice that Control Room was damaged. I never sent such a notice. Now, instead of sending my next movie, I am receiving another copy of Control Room. Wtf, mates? Please send the next movie in my queue. I'm not sure why I'm getting two Control Rooms, but I certainly don't plan on watching both at the same time :p

Love,
Mike Wiesner

TARGET CULTURE

2006-05-24T00:21:00.000-07:00

Hello,

MajorFashion is coming along very well. We've got 9 designs, and are getting more together every day. We are still on schedule to go live July 1.

In the meantime, most of my blogging time is devoted to Target Culture, a website dedicated to news about Target stores. Check it out here.

Chow for now!

eBay: Innovation Up the Wazoo

2006-05-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

I was over at eBay the other day. This is one of the motorcycles in the parking lot. Sweet.

Nigeria Needs My Help!!

2006-05-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

I was contacted recently by a representative of Nigeria. Amazingly, this person turned out to be a Nigerian millionaire who needed help moving a great deal of money! The kind person that I am, of course I wanted to help :)

FROM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR
SENOX ROAD
FREE TOWN
REPUBLIC OF SIERRALEONE
EMAIL:janinvest1212@technisamail.co.za
DEAR SIR,

PROPOSAL FOR A JOINT FAMILY INVESTMENT PLANI AM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR 25YRS,THE DAUGHTER OF THEFORMER LIBERIAN PRESIDENT CHARLES TAYLOR,I HAVE IN MYPOSSESSION THE SUM OF THIRTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATEDOLLARS{$35,000,000.00},AND THE TOP LIST OF MYPRIORITY IS WHERE TO INVEST THIS MONEY OUTSIDE MY COUNTRY."REASON BEST KNOWN TO ME".I URGENTLY NEED YOURASSISTANCE IN PROVIDING A RELIABLE GENUINE TRADE ORCOMPANY WHERE I CAN INVEST THE FUND AND IMMEDIATELYMEET YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR SETTLEMENT.PLEASE I WILL KINDLY WELCOME YOUR ADVICE TOO.I AM EXPECTING YOUR URGENT MAIL RESPONSE. I NEED YOURSUPPORT AND SERIOUSNESS. I AM PRESENTLY ON EXILE INFREE TOWN SIERRALEONE WITH MY BROTHER CHOKRI TAYLOR AFTERTHE UNITED STATES ASKED MY FATHER TO RESIGN AS THEPRESIDENT OF LIBERIA. MY FATHER IS ALSO ON A SELF EXILE IN ONE OFTHE WEST AFRICAN COUNTRY.YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IS EXPECTED. SEND YOURCONFIDENTIAL PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN REACH YOU WHENNECCESSARY.SEND YOUR RELY TO MY CONFIDENTIALBOX:janinvest1212@technisamail.co.za

FROM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR
SENOX ROAD
FREE TOWN
REPUBLIC OF SIERRALEONE

Mike Wiesner to janinvest1212

Hello,What do I need to do?

-Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike, good day to you. are you ready to travel to as expected for the banking of the funds. send your details and passport or drivers licence for the documentations. i am expecting your mail. miss jan taylor

Mike Wiesner to jan

Miss Taylor, Yes I am completely ready to begin -- what do you need from me?
Thanks,
Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike, goodday to you.i received your mail. like i told you, the consignment is in a security company in madrid spain.as my representative, you will be in spain to open a non resident bank account in your name where you will lodge the funds. not only that, you will clear the consignment from the vauilt of the security company before banking. after banking the funds, you will go back to your country. from your country, you will instruct your bankers in spain to wire the funds to your country for the investment. before you travel to spain, i will give two powerful documents that will give you right to clear the consignment from the security company. the documents are

1 POWER OF ATTORNEY
2) CERTIFICATE OF CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY

before my lawyer will prepare the documents, send

1 YOUR FULL NAMES
2) CITY AND COUNTRY
3) OCCUPATION
4) COPY OF YOUR DRIVERS LICENCE OR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT TOLEGALIZE THE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME
as soon as you receive the documents, contact of the security company will be sent to you so that you will open official deliberations with them on when you will arrive spain. pleasesend your mobile number so that my brother chokri taylor will callyou for more discussions.
miss jan taylor
republic of sierraleone

Mike Wiesner to jan

Dear Ms. Jan Taylor, I have all the documents ready. But there was no phone number in the e-mail for me to contact the security company. What should I do? I'm leaving on a trip tomorrow, and would love to get this all settled before I go.
Thanks,
Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike,

good day to you. i told you to send the following information and you did not send them for the preparation of the power of attorney and certificate of change of beneficiary. they are

1) your full names

2) city and country

3) occupation

4) copy of your drivers license or international passport to legalize the documents on your name

please send them. with out the two documents, you cannot discuss with the security company.

i am waiting for the above information

jan

Mike Wiesner to Jan

Dear Jan,Thank you for your email. I have scanned the documents andinformation -- please see the attached documents. [no attached documents]

Thank you,

Michael Wiesner

God, I'd love to help her . . . but I don't seem to be smart enough to fully comprehend her letters, and am hopelessly vague . . . what has come over me? I'll need her to hold my hand every step of the way. Every step of the way. In fact, we're only a few e-mails away from the point where my e-mails descend into incomprehensible strings of "account" numbers, incomplete sentences and strange accusations. Stay tuned :)

Mike and Nigeria!

2006-05-11T14:00:00.002-07:00

I was contacted recently by a representative of Nigeria. Amazingly, this person turned out to be a Nigerian millionaire who needed help moving a great deal of money! The kind person that I am, of course I wanted to help :)

FROM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR
SENOX ROAD
FREE TOWN
REPUBLIC OF SIERRALEONE
EMAIL:janinvest1212@technisamail.co.za
DEAR SIR,

PROPOSAL FOR A JOINT FAMILY INVESTMENT PLANI AM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR 25YRS,THE DAUGHTER OF THEFORMER LIBERIAN PRESIDENT CHARLES TAYLOR,I HAVE IN MYPOSSESSION THE SUM OF THIRTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATEDOLLARS{$35,000,000.00},AND THE TOP LIST OF MYPRIORITY IS WHERE TO INVEST THIS MONEY OUTSIDE MY COUNTRY."REASON BEST KNOWN TO ME".I URGENTLY NEED YOURASSISTANCE IN PROVIDING A RELIABLE GENUINE TRADE ORCOMPANY WHERE I CAN INVEST THE FUND AND IMMEDIATELYMEET YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR SETTLEMENT.PLEASE I WILL KINDLY WELCOME YOUR ADVICE TOO.I AM EXPECTING YOUR URGENT MAIL RESPONSE. I NEED YOURSUPPORT AND SERIOUSNESS. I AM PRESENTLY ON EXILE INFREE TOWN SIERRALEONE WITH MY BROTHER CHOKRI TAYLOR AFTERTHE UNITED STATES ASKED MY FATHER TO RESIGN AS THEPRESIDENT OF LIBERIA. MY FATHER IS ALSO ON A SELF EXILE IN ONE OFTHE WEST AFRICAN COUNTRY.YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IS EXPECTED. SEND YOURCONFIDENTIAL PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN REACH YOU WHENNECCESSARY.SEND YOUR RELY TO MY CONFIDENTIALBOX:janinvest1212@technisamail.co.za

FROM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR
SENOX ROAD
FREE TOWN
REPUBLIC OF SIERRALEONE

Mike Wiesner to janinvest1212

Hello,
What do I need to do?

-Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike,

good day to you. are you ready to travel to as expected for the banking of the funds. send your details and passport or drivers licence for the documentations.

i am expecting your mail.

miss jan taylor

Mike Wiesner to jan

Miss Taylor,

Yes I am completely ready to begin -- what do you need from me?

Thanks,
Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike,

goodday to you.i received your mail. like i told you, the consignment is in a security company in madrid spain.

as my representative, you will be in spain to open a non resident bank account in your name where you will lodge the funds. not only that, you will clear the consignment from the vauilt of the security company before banking.

after banking the funds, you will go back to your country. from your country, you will instruct your bankers in spain to wire the funds to your country for the investment.

before you travel to spain, i will give two powerful documents that will give you right to clear the consignment from the security company. the documents are

1 POWER OF ATTORNEY
2) CERTIFICATE OF CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY

before my lawyer will prepare the documents, send

1 YOUR FULL NAMES
2) CITY AND COUNTRY
3) OCCUPATION
4) COPY OF YOUR DRIVERS LICENCE OR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT TOLEGALIZE THE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME

as soon as you receive the documents, contact of the security company will be sent to you so that you will open official deliberations with them on when you will arrive spain.

pleasesend your mobile number so that my brother chokri taylor will callyou for more discussions.

miss jan taylor
republic of sierraleone

Mike Wiesner to jan

Dear Ms. Jan Taylor,

I have all the documents ready. But there was no phone number in the e-mail for me to contact the security company. What should I do?

I'm leaving on a trip tomorrow, and would love to get this all settled before I go.

Thanks,
Mike

God, I'd love to help her . . . but I don't seem to be smart enough to fully comprehend her letters, and am hopelessly vague . . . what has come over me? I'll need her to hold my hand every step of the way. Every step of the way. In fact, we're only a few e-mails away from the point where my e-mails descend into incomprehensible strings of "account" numbers, incomplete sentences and strange accusations. Stay tuned :)

Mike and Nigeria!

2006-05-11T14:00:00.001-07:00

I was contacted recently by a representative of Nigeria. Amazingly, this person turned out to be a Nigerian millionaire who needed help moving a great deal of money! The kind person that I am, of course I wanted to help :)

FROM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR
SENOX ROAD
FREE TOWN
REPUBLIC OF SIERRALEONE
EMAIL:janinvest1212@technisamail.co.za
DEAR SIR,

PROPOSAL FOR A JOINT FAMILY INVESTMENT PLANI AM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR 25YRS,THE DAUGHTER OF THEFORMER LIBERIAN PRESIDENT CHARLES TAYLOR,I HAVE IN MYPOSSESSION THE SUM OF THIRTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATEDOLLARS{$35,000,000.00},AND THE TOP LIST OF MYPRIORITY IS WHERE TO INVEST THIS MONEY OUTSIDE MY COUNTRY."REASON BEST KNOWN TO ME".I URGENTLY NEED YOURASSISTANCE IN PROVIDING A RELIABLE GENUINE TRADE ORCOMPANY WHERE I CAN INVEST THE FUND AND IMMEDIATELYMEET YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR SETTLEMENT.PLEASE I WILL KINDLY WELCOME YOUR ADVICE TOO.I AM EXPECTING YOUR URGENT MAIL RESPONSE. I NEED YOURSUPPORT AND SERIOUSNESS. I AM PRESENTLY ON EXILE INFREE TOWN SIERRALEONE WITH MY BROTHER CHOKRI TAYLOR AFTERTHE UNITED STATES ASKED MY FATHER TO RESIGN AS THEPRESIDENT OF LIBERIA. MY FATHER IS ALSO ON A SELF EXILE IN ONE OFTHE WEST AFRICAN COUNTRY.YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IS EXPECTED. SEND YOURCONFIDENTIAL PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN REACH YOU WHENNECCESSARY.SEND YOUR RELY TO MY CONFIDENTIALBOX:janinvest1212@technisamail.co.za

FROM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR
SENOX ROAD
FREE TOWN
REPUBLIC OF SIERRALEONE

Mike Wiesner to janinvest1212

Hello,
What do I need to do?

-Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike,

good day to you. are you ready to travel to as expected for the banking of the funds. send your details and passport or drivers licence for the documentations.

i am expecting your mail.

miss jan taylor

Mike Wiesner to jan

Miss Taylor,

Yes I am completely ready to begin -- what do you need from me?

Thanks,
Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike,

goodday to you.i received your mail. like i told you, the consignment is in a security company in madrid spain.

as my representative, you will be in spain to open a non resident bank account in your name where you will lodge the funds. not only that, you will clear the consignment from the vauilt of the security company before banking.

after banking the funds, you will go back to your country. from your country, you will instruct your bankers in spain to wire the funds to your country for the investment.

before you travel to spain, i will give two powerful documents that will give you right to clear the consignment from the security company. the documents are

1 POWER OF ATTORNEY
2) CERTIFICATE OF CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY

before my lawyer will prepare the documents, send

1 YOUR FULL NAMES
2) CITY AND COUNTRY
3) OCCUPATION
4) COPY OF YOUR DRIVERS LICENCE OR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT TOLEGALIZE THE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME

as soon as you receive the documents, contact of the security company will be sent to you so that you will open official deliberations with them on when you will arrive spain.

pleasesend your mobile number so that my brother chokri taylor will callyou for more discussions.

miss jan taylor
republic of sierraleone

Mike Wiesner to jan

Dear Ms. Jan Taylor,

I have all the documents ready. But there was no phone number in the e-mail for me to contact the security company. What should I do?

I'm leaving on a trip tomorrow, and would love to get this all settled before I go.

Thanks,
Mike

God, I'd love to help her . . . but I don't seem to be smart enough to fully comprehend her letters, and am hopelessly vague . . . what has come over me? I'll need her to hold my hand every step of the way. Every step of the way. In fact, we're only a few e-mails away from the point where my e-mails descend into incomprehensible strings of "account" numbers, incomplete sentences and strange accusations. Stay tuned :)

Mike and Nigeria!

2006-05-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

I was contacted recently by a representative of Nigeria. Amazingly, this person turned out to be a Nigerian millionaire who needed help moving a great deal of money! The kind person that I am, of course I wanted to help :)

FROM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR
SENOX ROAD
FREE TOWN
REPUBLIC OF SIERRALEONE
EMAIL:janinvest1212@technisamail.co.za
DEAR SIR,

PROPOSAL FOR A JOINT FAMILY INVESTMENT PLANI AM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR 25YRS,THE DAUGHTER OF THEFORMER LIBERIAN PRESIDENT CHARLES TAYLOR,I HAVE IN MYPOSSESSION THE SUM OF THIRTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATEDOLLARS{$35,000,000.00},AND THE TOP LIST OF MYPRIORITY IS WHERE TO INVEST THIS MONEY OUTSIDE MY COUNTRY."REASON BEST KNOWN TO ME".I URGENTLY NEED YOURASSISTANCE IN PROVIDING A RELIABLE GENUINE TRADE ORCOMPANY WHERE I CAN INVEST THE FUND AND IMMEDIATELYMEET YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR SETTLEMENT.PLEASE I WILL KINDLY WELCOME YOUR ADVICE TOO.I AM EXPECTING YOUR URGENT MAIL RESPONSE. I NEED YOURSUPPORT AND SERIOUSNESS. I AM PRESENTLY ON EXILE INFREE TOWN SIERRALEONE WITH MY BROTHER CHOKRI TAYLOR AFTERTHE UNITED STATES ASKED MY FATHER TO RESIGN AS THEPRESIDENT OF LIBERIA. MY FATHER IS ALSO ON A SELF EXILE IN ONE OFTHE WEST AFRICAN COUNTRY.YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IS EXPECTED. SEND YOURCONFIDENTIAL PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN REACH YOU WHENNECCESSARY.SEND YOUR RELY TO MY CONFIDENTIALBOX:janinvest1212@technisamail.co.za

FROM MISS JAN CHARLES TAYLOR
SENOX ROAD
FREE TOWN
REPUBLIC OF SIERRALEONE

Mike Wiesner to janinvest1212

Hello,
What do I need to do?

-Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike,

good day to you. are you ready to travel to as expected for the banking of the funds. send your details and passport or drivers licence for the documentations.

i am expecting your mail.

miss jan taylor

Mike Wiesner to jan

Miss Taylor,

Yes I am completely ready to begin -- what do you need from me?

Thanks,
Mike

Jan Taylor to me

dear mike,

goodday to you.i received your mail. like i told you, the consignment is in a security company in madrid spain.

as my representative, you will be in spain to open a non resident bank account in your name where you will lodge the funds. not only that, you will clear the consignment from the vauilt of the security company before banking.

after banking the funds, you will go back to your country. from your country, you will instruct your bankers in spain to wire the funds to your country for the investment.

before you travel to spain, i will give two powerful documents that will give you right to clear the consignment from the security company. the documents are

1 POWER OF ATTORNEY
2) CERTIFICATE OF CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY

before my lawyer will prepare the documents, send

1 YOUR FULL NAMES
2) CITY AND COUNTRY
3) OCCUPATION
4) COPY OF YOUR DRIVERS LICENCE OR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT TOLEGALIZE THE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME

as soon as you receive the documents, contact of the security company will be sent to you so that you will open official deliberations with them on when you will arrive spain.

pleasesend your mobile number so that my brother chokri taylor will callyou for more discussions.

miss jan taylor
republic of sierraleone

Mike Wiesner to jan

Dear Ms. Jan Taylor,

I have all the documents ready. But there was no phone number in the e-mail for me to contact the security company. What should I do?

I'm leaving on a trip tomorrow, and would love to get this all settled before I go.

Thanks,
Mike

God, I'd love to help her . . . but I don't seem to be smart enough to fully comprehend her letters, and am hopelessly vague . . . what has come over me? I'll need her to hold my hand every step of the way. Every step of the way. In fact, we're only a few e-mails away from the point where my e-mails descend into incomprehensible strings of "account" numbers, incomplete sentences and strange accusations. Stay tuned :)

Cinco de Mayo Update

2006-05-06T00:33:00.000-07:00

Hello,

It has been quite a long time since my last update. This is due to the government's new policy against using the Internet for personal tasks. It is a think tank, so we are expected to be innovative, but all the same I don't think www.blogger.com would go over well!

I have begun an Internet apparel company called MajorFashion. The company markets major-specific apparel to the on-campus college demographic. Marc is designing the web interface and giving counsel, and is doing a very fancy job. We've already held a contest to recruit slogans, and are now in the middle of a market research study to determine the most popular ones. I have a lovely new Sellers' License and business permit. We are currently looking for a vector-based graphic designer. If you know any, or are one, let me know! We are also doing logo design. Expect an update on this 5/12, when the market research is complete.

One of my coworker's parents has just died, and we passed along a condolence card around the office today. My boss also gave me a 300 page book to read and summarize empirically this afternoon. It was a really neat read about religious/spiritual treatment centers, and the role of religiousity and spirituality as valid aspects of cultural competence (which has been proven useful in SUD treatment). Clinicians still have a long way to go before they're ready to work with Clergy, and visa versa. Nevertheless, religious institutions are a vast untapped resource for substance use disorder treatment. My boss and I are coauthoring a paper on it, which will be very neat to see published.

If you come up with any snazzy t-shirt slogans, let me know. Better yet, enter them in our next slogan contest! www.majorfashion.com/contest .

Good night all!

Good, Clean Fun Online

2006-04-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

So, in 1996 my old friend Derek P. had the screen-name "mightymit." In 1997, he began using a different one.

The question was, whatever happened to "mightymit"?

Well, around 2000 "Mightymit" appeared on my buddy list. I instant messaged him thinking it was Derek, and rather than politely say it wasn't, he began being a dick to me.

So, over the last six years, every two or three months I have IMed him asking for Derek. What's best is he never seems to remember me.

I bring this up because tonight "Mightymit" signed on, and I decided now was the time. As always, I open by saying hello to derek, then proceed to act confused and . . . a bit slow.

(21:03:36) OneFortyFast: yo derek
(21:03:57) mightymit: nope
(21:04:04) mightymit: this is chase
(21:04:16) OneFortyFast: huh ??
(21:04:36) mightymit: this is not derek who is this
(21:04:44) OneFortyFast: chase
(21:04:55) mightymit: yea
(21:04:58) mightymit: whos this
(21:05:08) OneFortyFast: please put derek on the phone
(21:05:24) mightymit: are u retardedd
(21:07:52) mightymit logged out.

These moments are often short, but always sweet. Until June, Mightymit!

Marc's Poem

2006-04-24T23:10:00.000-07:00

This poem is just so awesome. After hearing more than one person quote it, I felt the need to reproduce it here:

Ode to the Bug on my Arm

-Marc Wiesner

Little buggie
grabbing so snugly
to my arm as I ride.

Is your voyage intentional,
or was it simply accidental,
that you landed on the hair of my hide?

Shouldn’t you fly
along currents of the sky
instead of hitch along through the rain down Bascom?

How different are we?
you with you wings and thorax,
myself on steel, pedaling on the street.

I won’t balk;
born with legs, I rightly should walk,
on innovative transportation, I’ll shouldn’t even speak

Catalina Island

2006-04-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I have so much to say.

Big Brother is watching us at work now, so no more posting during the day (hurray for office morale!)

Here are Catherine's and my pictures from Catalina Island! Enjoy!

Gov't OPM Website

2006-04-11T15:12:00.000-07:00

I know, it' sbeen quite a long time since I've posted. Work has kept me very busy. But this I had to share with you all.

This is from the home-page of the Government's Office of Personnel Management:

Doesn't that seem a bit inappropriate to you?

Catherine's Song

2006-03-20T17:07:00.000-08:00

Catherine: okie dokie
Catherine: artichoke
Catherine: i am an armadillo

(to be sung.)

'Simpsons' Character Voices

2006-03-20T17:04:00.000-08:00

I thought this was interesting. Following is a list of the four main Simpsons character voices, along with their other identities in the series.

Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Krusty, Grandpa Simpson, Mayor Quimby),
Julie Kavner (Marge, Selma, Patty),
Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Nelson, Ralph Wiggum),
Yeardley Smith (Lisa),
Hank Azaria (Moe, Apu, Chief Wiggum) and
Harry Shearer (Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner)

Sick.

2006-03-18T11:46:00.000-08:00

Thursday and Friday I was very sick. To make me feel better, Marc asked, "Do you want some hot and sour soup?" I eagerly said yes, and about ten minutes later he brought me the following bowl, large enough for an infant to bathe in, full of soup. Delicious! Thanks dude! In the evening Catherine made me oatmeal with milk and brown sugar. And on Friday night our mom took us out for Chinese food on Castro street. I feel much better!!

A $1,000 mistake

2006-03-18T11:41:00.000-08:00

Below please find a Ford Mustang souped up with carbon fiber tail lights and a two foot spoiler. What jackfuck buys a Ford Mustang and puts these kind of parts on it? The carbon fiber would cost about $350, and the tail, painted to match, at least $650. Not that Mustangs are high quality vehicles, just that they were never meant to be riced out. The second picture looks just as bad, but cost $0. Enjoy. And to the person parked outside Costco in Mountain View: You are a moron.

A Blog Devoted to Facebook

2006-03-13T16:24:00.000-08:00

http://del.icio.us/fstutzman/facebook?setcount=100

Google "Answers"

2006-03-13T15:09:00.000-08:00

Google has this new service where you ask a question of the online community, and set a price you're willing to pay for the answer. Foolishly, Google only lets their own Researchers answer the questions, which largely seems to contradict the general mantra of the company as a provider of access between information-seekers and providers (e.g. map services, book searching, advertising, etc.). Google collects a .50 cent fee for questions, and depending on the price, soon a Researcher comes along and finds the info.

This is one such question, tagged at $2.00, that Marc pointed out to me. Look at the two comments users posted below this question.

Subject: World Languages Category: Relationships and Society Asked by: wschloss-ga:

What theories do linguists have for explaining the difference across
languages/cultures in the length, number of syllables, and complexity
of words of different languages, specifically family names? Might
this have anything to do with climate? E.g. Southern Indian
Sub-continent, and African sub-Saharan names, tend to be long with 3-6
syllables, while those from further North, from cooler, dryer climes
tend to be short.

Comments to the Above Question:

Subject: Re: World Languages From: pugwashjw65-ga on 10 Mar 2006 06:16 PST

THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER; Like it or not, from the Bible, Genesis 11;
5-9 "5 And Jehovah proceeded to go down to see the city and the tower
that the sons of men had built. 6 After that Jehovah said: “Look! They
are one people and there is one language for them all, and this is
what they start to do. Why, now there is nothing that they may have in
mind to do that will be unattainable for them. 7 Come now! Let us go
down and there confuse their language that they may not listen to one
another’s language.” 8 Accordingly Jehovah scattered them from there
over all the surface of the earth, and they gradually left off
building the city. 9 That is why its name was called Ba´bel, because
there Jehovah had confused the language of all the earth, and Jehovah
had scattered them from there over all the surface of the earth.

[Next]

Subject: Re: World Languages From: nelson-ga on 10 Mar 2006 10:32 PST

I'm sure wschloss-ga was looking for an answer not based on mythology.

Catherine At Work

2006-03-13T10:56:00.000-08:00

Over Google Chat:

me: i am leaving work around 1:55, and not coming back today
Catherine: oooh how fun
me: yeah!
Catherine: you are a brave warrior
me: i have to go to SJC after the presentations
Catherine: fighting your fate on the brink of destruction
you are a man of great faith
you save damsels in distress while terrible monsters buy for your attention
you never look fear in the face
me: ...
Catherine: hehe
what do you need to go to sjsu for
dragons
?
me: yes
dragons
i go to slay them
Catherine: ahhh, you are very brave
me: and purchase a US airways ticket
Catherine: ahhh
that is the secret that the dragon holds
which you can only get once you have slayed him
i see
me: you are a nut!!
Catherine: i know
i am going to rescue a squirrel in an hour
i am preparing
me: ??
from where?
Catherine: from a tree outside the library
me: is it hurt?
or are you kidnapping it?
Catherine: he wispered to me in class "squeak squeak...tree, sqeak...library..squeak...danger...squeak...come immediatly..squeeak
now i must go!! he is calling to me!! I am off!

Competency. Sweet competency.

2006-03-10T14:17:00.000-08:00

Congratulations!

You are ready to begin online learning!

This is the tagline of the mandatory online education system at my work. Today I learned I had to take about 25 separate "modules" (essentially each is one gargantuan HTML page full of text that is estimated -- optimistically -- to take 25 - 35 minutes to read through), a 70 page document on fire safety, and a course designed to teach you not to divulge your personal information online.

Reflecting on Katrina

2006-03-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

This article made me think. First of all, this one guy took thousands of pictures after Red Cross sent him to Katrina. He is not a journalist or a writer, but a volunteer. Red Cross strictly tells volunteers to take 0 pictures. Imagine San Jose has an earthquake and thousands are left homeless. Do you really want ordinary people like yourself, say, from New York, to be flown over here on a mission to help and start takening pictures of the rubble that was City Hall, or the wreckage of a collapsed dormitory at SCU? Thousands of Red Cross workers went into Katrina. But most of us had the decency to not act like self-appointed voyeurs to the destruction of peoples' families and lives.

While I'm revisiting Katrina, here are two memories from my time there:

1. Upon arriving at HQ in Baton Rouge, we were assigned to go to a nearby car dealership (two miles away . . . took just over an hour to get there by car), pose for some pictures for the salesmen, and bring back 6 vans for transporting people/goods. While leaving the HQ building, two young men approached us, saying they needed money for food, didn't have enough money for gasoline to drive to a shelter, and hadn't eaten in days. During briefing, Red Cross instructed us not to give any money from our pockets or from Red Cross volunteer-food accounts to people if asked. My co-EMT, Keko, told the person that we couldn't give him money, but the people in HQ could direct him to services. Instead of walking in, he just seemed to wait outside. Then, an HQ coordinator happened to walk outside to see how many vans were available. The guy started to ask this person for money, then stopped. The coordinator replied, "Are you kidding me? You're scamming people, huh? Three hours ago I gave you $40 of my own money! You were lucky to get that! Get out of here before I call the cops."

It turns out this person had decided, rightly so, that if volunteers were willing to fly across the country to help out, they wouldn't turn away a starving person asking for money to start their car or get lunch. I can only imagine how much money this person made before being caught, and where they went next.

2. Ruston, La is a small and peaceful town about 80 miles northeast of Shreveport. The Ruston Fire Department kept watch for 8 hours each night, but during the other 16 hours we ran triage and the medical department, under the supervision of Dr. Reed, the Doc who traveled with us. One night we were called and told to get up and alert, and that two busses of victims were heading our way. We prepared everything and waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing. We were then told that they had been diverted to Texas. Two days later, out of the blue, two busses showed up at our shelter. They had indeed been diverted to Texas, but turned away at two over-full shelters there, and had come back to Louisiana. Now, imagine 80 people plucked from the Hot Zone without going through decontamination, and spending four days packed into a bus together. Symptoms were rampant -- everybody had fevers, stomach aches, and a slew of other symptoms. Diabetics were registering glucose levels of 500; methadone patients had gone without; scores of people had depression (Red Cross eventually sent a psychiatrist). The Medical Center was packed immediately, with the halls outside filled with people. In an instant we were above capacity. Just as you might expect, in only a few minutes we heard shouting come from the throng of people in the entrance area. It escalated, and we grabbed trauma gear and shoved our way to the center of it, ready to break apart the people who we imagined were fighting. Instead, we found two male teenagers locked in an embrace.

They were twins. In the chaos of getting people out of the Hot Zone, a bus had loaded one of the twins and, with him shouting for the driver to let his brother on, driven off. This young man who had gotten on the bus first had been taken to Ruston. Yelling at the bus driver and banging on the windows, that was the last time he had seen his brother. He located his family at another shelter shortly afterwards, but his twin had become one of the thousands reported missing, and his family had every reason to believe he had perished. Four days went by. When the surviving teen in Ruston learned 80 people had arrived at his shelter, he began frantically running through them searching for his missing brother. Against all odds, he suddenly found himself staring in the eyes of his twin, fevered and exhausted, who had spent four solid days MIA while being bussed from Louisiana to Texas and back.

That was my second happiest moment there. But imagine, you're sitting there lamenting the loss of your twin brother, and some Red Cross volunteer snaps a picture of you to go along with the thousands of others in his collection, to brag about it later.

Jackson Rancheria

2006-03-07T17:47:00.000-08:00

Denis and I decided to go to Jackson Rancheria on Monday night. This lovely gaming establishment is about two and a half hours away (through 237 - 880 - 680 - 580 - 205 - 5 - 4- 99 - 88), in Jackson, CA (northeast of here). We played blackjack for four solid hours, and had free cranberry juices, strawberry smoothies and hot chocolates. When we were ready to leave around half past midnight, I had made $120, and Denis finished up $570. These are victory pictures.

Sunday Morning Attack

2006-03-05T11:41:00.000-08:00

This early morning, the FaRc alliance struck another innocent puzzle. All of the pieces yet to be placed were arranged in an orderly fashion the previous night, and were stacked into a makeshift puzzle-piece mountain in the morning.

As revenge for this HEINOUS and unprovoked attack, the air in the FaRc Alliance vehicle (Frank's Toyota) was successfully liberated from the left front tire. The puzzle's honor has been defended!

Crazy Jokers at Garden City

2006-03-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

Denis and I, upon realizing that he is now 21, decided to go to Garden City to play some blackjack recently. We discovered that they don't play "blackjack," but rather "21st Century No Bust Blackjack." The rules for this game are a bit counter-intuitive. Let me explain the pros and cons:

PROS
Pro: If you get a joker, you automatically win.
Pro: You have a chance to "be the bank", that is, to bet your own money and play the dealer's hand (along dealer rules).
Sweetest Pro: "No bust blackjack" means that if you bust by a smaller number than the dealer, it's a push. But if you both bust to the same number, you lose.

CONS
Con: There are jokers in the deck, throwing off traditional counting methods.
Con: If the dealer gets a joker, all hands automatically lose to it, except a player with a joker or AA; if you have a blackjack against a dealer's joker, you push.
Con: You can't split aces, and you can't double-down or split either part of an already splitted hand.
Con: You have to ante $1 per hand.
Con: Blackjack pays 1:1.
Con: If you get AA, you automatically win. This is a "con" because in traditional blackjack, any hand with an ace has a 76% chance of winning. With this rule, you are losing two 76% chances to double your money (152%) for one 100% payout).
Con: There is a rotating "bank", and any player can bank. If the player only bets $20 as the bank, only $20 can be won in the hand. Which means, if you aren't immediately to the left of the dealer, you probably won't get any money for winning. But if there's no money to win, they won't take what you've bet if you lose. It all depends on whether the players ahead of you win or not, and the size of the bank.
Sleaziest Con: There are 6 betting spots at every seat. Other players can bet on your hand. But, the person who bets the largest amount gets to control the action. So if you bet $35, then look away for a few seconds, and someone slips in a $40 bet, they can hit your 16 when the dealer shows a 5 and bust you, leaving you banging your head on the table while they lament their "bad luck".

Surprisingly, despite the horrible odds against me, I've tripled up playing this game, which Denis and I have affectionately named "Crazy Jokers." Being so far up in the black, this morning I called Denis and asked if he wanted to go to Jackson Rancheria, a decent place where they play the normal version of Blackjack. I wonder what he'll say . . .

Much Ado about Pakistan

2006-03-03T10:22:00.000-08:00

"I will meet with President Musharraf to discuss Pakistan's vital cooperation in the war on terror and our efforts to foster economic and political development so that we can reduce the appeal of radical Islam," Bush said shortly before arriving in Pakistan. "I believe that a prosperous, democratic Pakistan will be a steadfast partner for America, a peaceful neighbor for India and a force for freedom and moderation in the Arab world."

Later, White House press secretary Scott McClellan told reporters that Bush meant to say Pakistan would be a force in the Muslim world. Pakistan is not an Arab country.

---

The President has the right idea on this one. Historically, the more subtle tactic for quelling insurgencies is not to actively engage, but to make life so good for the civilians that they do not support or endorse any resistence against the occupying power. There's a term for this; Frank probably knows it.

How much of a sinner are you?

2006-03-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Flash Flood

2006-03-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like the joy of parking your car in a dry spot in the morning, and coming back in the afternoon to find it has developed a moat to defend itself :)

These pics were taken at my work in Menlo Park.

Associated Press: Muhammad Cartoons Riles Calif. College

2006-03-01T10:30:00.000-08:00

By GILLIAN FLACCUS , 03.01.2006, 06:57 AM

At a student-organized forum last night at UC Irvine:

' Tensions quickly escalated when the Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, founder of the conservative Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny, said that Islam was an "evil religion" and that all Muslims hate America.

People repeatedly interrupted the talk and, at one point, campus police removed two men, one of them a Muslim, after they nearly came to blows.

Later, panelists were cheered when they referred to Muslims as fascists and accused mainstream Muslim-American civil rights groups of being "cheerleaders for terror." '

Link to full article

Catherine makes Spanikopita!

2006-02-26T11:34:00.000-08:00

I accidentally ate them before I could take an "after" shot, so the one at bottom is from a website. YUMMMM!! I don't mean to brag . . . but she had me help defrost the spinach. Ooh yeah . . .

Steam Cleaning

2006-02-26T11:32:00.000-08:00

While kindly helping me detail a car during the weekend, Catherine discovers her true passion: steam-cleaning things.

Ugly Dress

2006-02-26T11:31:00.000-08:00

Catherine's discovery of what she took to be the ugliest dress in the world. From Macy*s in Valco shopping center.

At the Rodeo

2006-02-26T11:29:00.000-08:00

Catherine and I went to the Professional Bull Riders' Rodeo in Oakland last week. These are a few pictures!

Where art thou, Fantasia?

2006-02-21T21:08:00.000-08:00

So I called Fantasia, the tea house on Santana row, this evening. This was our conversation:

Guy: Hello?
Mike: Hi. When are you open until?
Guy: You're trying to call Fantasia, right?
Mike: Oh God -- they accidentally listed your number on their site, didn't they?
Guy: You know, I get about ten calls a day for goddamn Fantasia. I swear to God.
Mike: I'm so sorry to bother you like this, it must be horrible.
Guy: It's been months now. That's it, i'm going to start telling people that Fantasia has gone out of business. Maybe they actually will, and I'll stop getting calls for them.
Mike: This is terrible. Listen, I'm sorry.
Guy: No, no, it's not your fault. Dial 408-268 . . . for them. I swear to God, if they don't take my number off their site, I'll sue.
Mike: You should. Good night!

A standoff in the Harrah's in Las Vegas

2006-02-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

A gunmen barricaded himself into room 2036 (on the 20th floor) at the Harrah's on the Strip at about 1pm. SWAT did nothing until nightfall, then around 1:00am crept around the 19th, 20th, and 21st floors and quietly evacuated the guests. At 7:00am they blasted the window in the guy's hotel room, swung in, and had him before he could fire a single shot. Awesome.

Ironic.

2006-02-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

"We know that al-Qaida terrorists are trained in trying to disseminate false allegations," McClellan said.

Reason's Blind-Spot: Georgia

2006-02-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

From an AP news article in Atlanta:

Clark and the boy she is accused of molesting married in November. Georgia law allows children regardless of age to wed if there is a pregnancy.

Clark had been free on bond, but was arrested again last week after authorities said she had been communicating with her husband in violation of a condition of her release. Arraignment was set for Feb. 24.

Complete this joke.

My Baby Shot Me Down

2006-02-13T12:19:00.000-08:00

This is an article published two days after Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter during a quail-hunting trip. Because the Administration didn't report the incident at all (the ranch owner where the trip took place reported it) qestions are now being asked about the "instict for secrecy" of the Vice-President and President's office. This article focuses on the delay in reporting the incident:

After a terse exchange with a senior White House correspondent for one of the US networks, Mr McClellan told the correspondent he did not need to ask questions so aggressively as the cameras were not running. “Don’t accuse me of posing for the camera. You are totally ducking and weaving,” the reporter responded.

The way the disclosure was handled has again raised questions about the instinct for secrecy in the vice-president’s office. Early last month when Mr Cheney was rushed to hospital with chest pains, his office would confirm only that the problem had been triggered by a “recurrence of a pre-existing foot condition”.

The vice-president’s office declined to provide further information about the condition, prompting a reporter at the briefing to say: “There’s a rather large foot secrecy going on here, considering the vice-president’s left appendage and we’re just curious as to . . .” But he was cut off by Mr McClellan with: “That’s very cute”.

Microsoft OneCare - Ethical Dilemma?

2006-02-08T12:27:00.000-08:00

Microsoft recently announced a new department called OneCare, a subscription-based premium service plan. For $49.95 per year, customers can get phone tech support and help from Windows.

"We're offering a premium level of service that's similar to if you were to take your Lexus into a dealership and get a level of service vs. 'Hey, I've got a buddy who can fix my car for me in his home garage,' " said Dennis Bonsall, director of Windows OneCare Live.

But OneCare is far more than a helping hand for novice or non-techie computer users. It's also an aggressive move to capture a bigger share of the consumer security-software market, which has thrived largely because of vulnerabilities in Microsoft's dominant Windows operating system.

More like Kaiser Permenente is opening OneClinic, a place for patients to go who have gotten infections by staying at Kaiser. This opens the door for an ethical dilemma - the more confusing and less secure Microsoft builds their product, the more revenue their $49.95/year service department will earn. Sending out a mass message that a complex update is needed, and users can have it done by subscribing would -- theoretically -- earn them tens of millions over the short-term (and annually).

There is also the problem that Windows already has a service program -- it's called Tech Support. Of course, "standard" tech support is filled with long waits and low-quality technicians. But, will adding an expensive sister service filled with premium content assuage this in the least? Microsoft now has OneCare, which will generate gobs of money, and their old, free, tech-support department, which generated $0 in revenue and has a huge staffing budget, which is very likely to go under the knife as a result of OneCare within 5 years.

It's an alarming road Microsoft is taking us down now.

B-Ball, Teacups, and Uninvited Guests

2006-02-08T07:25:00.000-08:00

Last night I ate a whole large Sicilian pizza a few hours before bed. Why do I do such things? I had thought Catherine might split it with me, but she had already eaten, and it was so delicious, so I just kept eating it and eating it, then all of a sudden it was completely gone and I didn't feel too good. These dreams were the result:

In my dream I was standing on the sidelines of a basketball court while Sean played in an All Star game. Except some players were running around with pitchforks. Doron Perkins was playing with him, which made for some good teamwork. I'm not sure how the game ended, because Catherine found me and said she needed to get a ride to work. We got into my trusty Stratus and she had me drive her to some little town. Once there, we wove down narrow streets that all looked alike, until finally, she exclaimed we were here. I pulled over and she hopped out, went to a barn-like building, and threw the door open. There were gigantic teacups sitting next to the mouth of some stream/water tunnel. I asked if she needed any help, and she said, no. She proceeded to move a teacup into the tunnel, hop it in, and wave as she sailed away, singing as she sailed her teacup down the tunnel. She is an odd gal, I thought.

At this point, I woke up. It was somewhere between midnight and 2am, and I was having a terrible time staying asleep. After a few minutes, I was asleep and had another dream.

In this one, I was on the computer at my house at Manchester. Marc was in the back fixing a bicycle, and our mom was potting plants near him. I received a call, and the ID read "Jon John." I picked it up, thinking it was my father. Instead, it was someone who identified himself as a war veteran who began trying to sell me something. I wanted to get off the phone, and kept saying no, but he kept talking. After about a minute, he mentioned that he worked for some church and wanted me to convert. At this point, I hung up on him. Once I did, I was convinced my father had been tracing the call to try to find my house. I took Marc's Nikon camera, and began peering outside through the blinds. Catherine was suddenly next to me, and told me that I should forget about it and move on, and that I was sure to find him merely because I was looking.

After only a short while of peering, I saw an old white Harley across the street. The license plate was just chalk written on a little chalk board, and I took this to mean it was from Florida. I snapped pictures of the motorcycle, but as I did I noticed it wasn't a nice Fatboy as I first thought. It was one of those old 60's Harley Dreams, except it was very beat up and dusty, and looked like it had about 100 miles left in it. I ceased hearing Marc and our mom talking in the background, and panned left toward Lafayette Street. I saw, through a split in the blinds, my father standing in a white shirt in the front yard, looking at me. I snapped a picture of it. He saw me do so, and remained still. I turned away and called our mom, who said she was back home, but was calling the police to have him taken away. I liked the idea. I opened the front door to tell him to get lost, but somehow he pushed his was in and sat in the living room. I took a look at him. At this point, all of the handsomeness and health had left him, and he sat in a dirty white shirt with gray hair and a round, pallid face. He looked weary, like he wasn't long left here. Nevertheless, I told him to leave. He didn't answer, but just sat, looking at my things. I didn't want him looking at my things, though, and I tried to move him physically; he was very heavy.

His weight, though not visible, and the stiff, disinterested way he had walked gave me the impression he was just an empty shell by now. I told him again to leave, and he responded in an almost incoherent way, saying he just wanted to get to know me. I said I wasn't interested, particularly considering the way he had tracked me down. Then he asked me for forgiveness, and I denied him it. Because he was too heavy to move, I threw something at him. The thing broke, and I threw other things. He just sat there. Then I heard the sliding glass door open from the kitchen, and heard Marc exclaim, "Why are you breaking my things? -- What the fuck!" There is some part of the dream I'm forgetting here, but I do remember Marc and I working together to stand him up and walk him out the door. When we did so, police pulled up and took him.

I handled Jon outside and let him go to the police. When I did, he tried to run back inside, but Marc was standing in the entry with his arms crossed. I heard him say, "not through me." There are three constants in this world: death, taxes, and the wisdom of not trying to force your way through Marc. Theoretically, the wall next to Marc would clearly be the path of least resistance, because the wall next to Marc is just a wall, it isn't known for going crazy on people. Our father stood there, checked and staring at him, until the police grabbed him again. While they were taking him, he asked them to wait, and started back towards me. He looked at one of two gold rings he had on, removed it and offered it to me as a keepsake. I felt sorry for him, because these looked like the only things he owned of any value. I told him, for some reason, "If anyone, give it to Marc." He looked at Marc, but was too afraid and just offered it again to me. I thought about it, but just turned my back.

At this point, I awoke again. It was 6:00am. Thoroughly too creeped out to go back to sleep, I got up and went to work.

And that's the story of the day I arrived at work over two hours early.

Google Learned to Talk, Find Sarah Connor

2006-02-07T11:40:00.000-08:00

Why'd you add chat to Gmail?

Communications these days can be frustrating. You exchange a bunch of emails with someone when really, you'd rather just get an answer instantly. You use one program for your email, and another one (or two or three) for IM. You can't remember who said what to you where. And sometimes you can't even remember who wallaby385 in your buddy list is.

Gmail's chat features address a lot of these problems. You don't have to use another program or switch between email and IM--it's all on the same interface. The friends you're already emailing the most show up in your Quick Contacts as themselves, not the cryptic IM names they chose six years ago. And you can save your chats so you never have to lose something important just because someone told it to you over IM.

Click Here for more information

Like the cartoon that started it all: funny, but not "ha-ha" funny.

2006-02-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

So, in October, a Danish newspaper (Jyllands-Posten) printed a series of caricatures of the Islamic prophet Muhammad. There was a complaint, but nothing much happened. Then, in January, Norway reprinted the cartoons, and all hell broke loose, focused on the Danes. The Danish PM just made a good point, urging calm and stating that the row is being exploited by extremists who seek a culture clash.

I think Denmark has just gotten screwed. Let's see:

30 Sept 2005: Danish paper publishes cartoons
20 Oct: Muslim ambassadors complain to Danish PM
10 Jan 2006: Norwegian publication reprints cartoons
26 Jan: Saudi Arabia recalls its ambassador
30 Jan: Gunmen raid EU's Gaza office demanding apology
31 Jan: Danish paper apologises
1 Feb: Papers in France, Germany, Italy and Spain reprint cartoons
4 Feb: Syrians attack Danish and Norwegian embassies in Damascus
5 Feb: Protesters sack Danish embassy in Beirut

On 30 January gunmen raid an EU office and demand an apology, and Denmark responds by issuing a formal apology. The Danish PM nonetheless now urges calm as Danish embassies and interests are destroyed in the Muslim world. What the hell? The man apologized! What more can he do?

In answer, today a crowd of 5,000 in Pakistan chanted for hours, "Hang the man who insulted the prophet!" Sweet anola gay, we must be nearing the End of Days. Rioting crowds want Denmark -- Denmark -- to execute a man for drawing a cartoon. You could murder a dozen people and still not receive capital punishment in Denmark!

Remember the LA riots?

Top 100 Vin Diesel Quotes

2006-02-02T23:00:00.000-08:00

Here

Top 100 Facts about Chuck Norris

2006-02-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

Here

Was it a Metaphor?

2006-02-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

In reaction to the President's State of the Union address:

Kevin G. Hall writes for Knight Ridder Newspapers: "One day after President Bush vowed to reduce America's dependence on Middle East oil by cutting imports from there 75 percent by 2025, his energy secretary and national economic adviser said Wednesday that the president 'didn't mean it literally' ".

Full Article

Frankers

2006-01-30T19:44:00.000-08:00

EMBRACING THE WORLD.

Gauging the Strength of the US Army

2006-01-26T12:22:00.000-08:00

Another interesting article

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0126/dailyUpdate.html

Article: Stress breeds the strongest boys

2006-01-24T10:49:00.000-08:00

Full Article

Z3

2006-01-23T21:59:00.000-08:00

Time to sell the Z3. Aah, so pretty. Twas truly before its time.

Manhattan Mural

2006-01-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

This is the mural now on my bedroom wall. It looks a bit bright due to the camera flash, and the bubbles will work themselves out with time!

Bye!

Quote of the Day: Tie between Frank and AJ (you be the judge)

2006-01-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

Frank [in respons to Mayor Nagin of New Orleans: See, there's no yellow chocolate. We're not welcome in Louisiana.
Mike: Actually, he explicitly said he wanted New Orleans to be a home to black people, white people, and Asians. If anything, Hispanics aren't welcome in Louisiana.
Frank: Oh, Hispanics are just Asians who took a wrong turn at Siberia.

versus...

AJ: Mike, I've been doing it.
Mike: Doing what?
AJ: Being hard to get for the ladies. The other day I told Sarah Bonnel she only gets good grades because she sleeps around with teachers.
Mike: That's not being hard to get. That's just being cruel.

Week 2

2006-01-18T23:05:00.000-08:00

It's week 2 of the SCU Winter quarter. I can't help but keep track of the date in SCU-time; I was obsessed with my schedule as a student there, and can't escape it being surrounded by people like Marc, Catherine and AJ.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, and Marc and I got her a Raleigh Retroglide 1-speed bicycle. It was really nice to see her so happy. She's done more than words can describe for Marc and I, and nobody deserves happiness as much as she does! For her birthday dinner she insisted on cooking, and made nokis, an Italian meal of boiled potatoes and flour; she served it with pasta salad and huge mushrooms, and for dessert we had a berry cheesecake. It was a wonderful evening!

Currently, Frank is playing a Star Wars computer game ("Oh crap! Might as well start the fight.") and marc is sitting behind him eating something vegan out of a big green bowl. I'm getting ready for bed.

Catherine has taken a larger load then ever before, but is working like crazy to stay on top of it all. That gal has a lot of fight in her, so I think she will be all-right. Lisa has put up a mezuzah at the doorway to their apartment, which is sweeeet.

I'm trying to sell the Miata (above), and have just put an 8' by 13' mural up on my wall (with the assistance of Cath, who, in addition to being able to create a fine binding mix, proved apt at posting the mural sheets on the wall). Today I picked her up and we met Frank at Q-cup for some pearl milk drinks, crepes and Q-pop Shrimp. Yum. For lunch I had home-made pizza at my mom's, and for dinner I want to Bennigan's for $5 burger night with AJ.

Off to bed!

Hello

2006-01-10T16:35:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since my last post!

On Saturday Catherine came back to the Bay Area, so I've been making up for lost time with her; she's moved into her new apt with Emily and Lisa. They had me over for dinner last night, which was fabulous. Later that evening, my mom, Catherine and I went to a basketball game where SCU lost a nasty game to Gonzaga. During the game the Ruff Riders (AJ's army) chanted brand new obscenities at the refs for their horrible calls. Luckily, Bucky was there dancing for everybody, and I think that appeased the crowd a bit.

Marc is trying to find a place to live near SCU so he can immerse himself in the Santa Clara experience, which I think is good. It'll be really nice for him to have something to remember ouside of the class-room.

As of 3pm today, I have applied to Stanford University's Cultural and Social Anthropology department! They have 8 spots each year for 200 applicants, so the odds are very much against me. But you never know!

Tonight, my brother and I (and maybe Dan) are going to see Hostel! I am excited! I'm also a bit sleepy, but that's normal :)

Quote of the Day: Marc

2006-01-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

(15:21:06) onefortyfast: i know you didn't make yourself a glass of water or something last night, then leave the glass in the sink
(15:21:07) onefortyfast: ...
(15:21:41) OldNestor: I rinsed it out, but didn't know where to put it from there

Why Madonna's new CD is Trash

2006-01-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

I like Madonna. But this has to be said.

Madonna is really into the trendy techno thing now, so she has a lot of zapping sounds and audio FX on her CD, which is okay. She usually incorporates it with her lyrics and sets a very accomodating rhythm (e.g. Frozen, Beautiful Stranger).

However, her lyrics are exactly what destroy her CD 'Confessions on a Dance Floor'. Let me explain. You know how sometimes, you accidentally leave a CD on the floor of your car for a week or six months or so, then put it in the CD player and it hits a scratch and repeats the same 2 seconds of music over and over, instantly making you want to smash it to bits? There's nothing more annoying than hearing Eve 6 say, "Rendezvous than I'm through -- I'm through -- I'm through -- I'm through -- I'm through . . . " because after a few seconds you become desperate to hear "with you," but it never comes. It leaves ya hanging, and the CD usually gets tossed or shelved ASAP.

Here are some of Madonna's lyrics:

Time goes by, so slowly, I don't know what to do.
Time goes by, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, so slowly, I don't know what to do.

Imagine, you're cruising along, and you're like, "Wtf, is my CD scratched? It's brand new!" Then, much to your shock, this happens on every track. YES. She repeats herself in some lyric, at least a dozen times, on EVERY SINGLE TRACK. Believe me, I checked.

Unless you are in Vietnam trying to smoke the old VC out using music-torture, don't go out of your way getting this CD. I got it from Russia for $1.21, and I still feel cheated.

If you really want to listen to it, take one of her old CDs and just scratch the hell out of it, then play it in your CD player. BAM! Problem solved.

-Thanks, Madonna, for inspiring this post!

Wal-Mart Stops Recommending

2006-01-06T10:42:00.000-08:00

January 6, 2005.

Wal-Mart, the world’s largest retail chain, shut down its movie recommendation software after it was discovered that the company’s e-tail web site was suggesting movies about famous African Americans such as Martin Luther King, Tina Turner, and Jack Johnson to those looking at boxed DVDs of Planet of the Apes, a science-fiction movie about intelligent apes.

Sometimes, in a bureaucracy, it's much better to keep your mouths shut to the public unless your title follows the format 'PR (title here)'.
Imagine writing that letter to customer services.
Full Article

Readers of Mike's Blog Rule!

2006-01-06T01:36:00.000-08:00

Plain and simple you people are awesome! I am really impressed that
readers responded to my call-to-action:

Mike & I have no clue as to how many people read his blog. If you post a
comment below, it will help us understand how many people read Mike's blog.

Check out the full post here. Currently, Mike's blog has 8 confirmed readers: Mike's mother(Diane), Mike's brother (Marc), Mike reads his own blog :) , myself (Denis), Bruce (Mike's stalker), Lisa (Mike's friend), and someone named "Groman".

If you haven't commented yet, please do so.

One more thing, I'm going to investigate who this Groman character is. If anyone has any information about this shady Groman guy, you know where to post it.

Gates

2006-01-05T15:04:00.000-08:00

I think after years of generous charity giving (honest giving, not PR giving), most of us should stand convinced that Bill Gates is not the evil monopolizer the 1990s pop-culture made him out to be. His recent comments in Las Vegas are lent credibility by his ever-improving public image.

---

Delivering the pre-event keynote address at the annual Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas on Wednesday, a relaxed Gates conjured up a picture of a connected family — like those seen in science fiction movies — four years from now.

Wake up and switch on the huge screen. “It will tell you where every family member is at that moment, stream in the latest news and then enable you to get ahead with your work even before you start for office,” Gates said in a demonstration.

Gates, who took the wraps off the company’s next-generation operating system — Windows Vista, said he believed the next few years could herald another revolution in the way we use information. “The software is where the magic is,” he said.

Article: If Bill Gates Could Sing, the World Would Dance

Olde Los Altos

2006-01-05T09:57:00.000-08:00

Last night I dreamt I was outside of my old house on Normandy Lane several years in the future. Oddly, the house was hosting the USC v. Texas game (was was also last night). Something went wrong with a bookie, and I ended up having to get rid of a stolen car. I drove it out of our old driveway, and the time that had gone by since I lived over there was evident. There were two sets of traffic lights on Normandy. As I got to the end, I found that an old sliding-door barn had replaced the white brick fence leading to O'keefe. Opening the door of the barn, I saw a tunnel going down to El Monte. I drove through, and my jaw dropped. Antique red brick houses which looked to be several hundred years old surrounded the intersection, but archaeologists were also plainly digging up adobe pots by the side of the road. Gold busses zoomed by on El Monte. I turned left, to where Foothill Expwy. should have been, but was shocked to find only a huge gravel lot. This was downtown Los Altos (much closer than I remember!) but it looked like an environmentally friendly a-bomb had been dropped. The ground was adobe red, and pieces of buildings lined the perimeter of the area. Bulldozers were cleaning debris, and massive construction was underway. There was no asphalt, nor clear indication of roads. It looked like a town from the Old West, made from adobe, then blown down in a massive storm. I left the car and started to wander through the ghost town by foot, but my alarm woke me up before I should breach the perimeter of the adobe-gravel area and see what was beyond.

References:
The bookie and the football game: both references to a conversation I had with my mom over dinner the night before.
The house: Probably associated with a comment my mom made ("we used to have a bookie, do you remember?") which I took to mean when we lived on Normandy.
The white car: This was a 'dirty' car, one I had to ditch before I was caught driving it. Of course, it appeared as white, the most horrible color on any car.
Traffic lights: Probably a reference to the way los altos has changed over the years. It used to be much more rural, even in the time since I was born. Today there are more signs of modernity than I remember from my childhood.
The barn: A reference to another thing my mom said last night ("The car I crashed into the barn was an MG . . . . I sold it. Once you see your car crash through a barn onto El Monte [note, the barn in my dream was between Normandy and El Monte], it's time to sell it.")
Archaeologists: Catherine
Gold busses, and red brick houses: The island of Ischia; Vito.
Los Altos, torn down: A sad reference to development, I think. I had heard something on the radio the afternoon previous about a conservation group that had gotten $200m together to purchase a strip of wildlife land along the San Mateo coast, to preserve it. Los Altos has a lot of references to my childhood, and the end of it probably signified a continued transition into adulthood.

Last Night of Hanukkah

2006-01-02T00:47:00.000-08:00

Hanerot Halalu, prayed upon lighting the menorah:

Hanneirot hallalu anachnu madlikin 'al hannissim ve'al hanniflaot 'al hatteshu'ot ve'al hammilchamot she'asita laavoteinu bayyamim haheim, (u)bazzeman hazeh 'al yedei kohanekha hakkedoshim. Vekhol-shemonat yemei Hanukkah hanneirot hallalu kodesh heim, ve-ein lanu reshut lehishtammesh baheim ella lir'otam bilvad kedei lehodot ul'halleil leshimcha haggadol 'al nissekha ve'al nifleotekha ve'al yeshu'otekha.

"We light these lights for the miracles and the wonders, for the redemption and the battles that you made for our forefathers, in those days at this season, through your holy priests. During all eight days of Hanukkah these lights are sacred, and we are not permitted to make them serve except for to look at them in order to express thanks and praise to Your great Name for your miracles, Your wonders and Your salvations."

Megillat Antiokhos or "Megillat Hanukkah":

Al hanisim v'al hapurkan v'al hag'vurot v'al hat'shuot, v'al hamilchamot she-asita la-avoteinu bayamim haheim bazman hazeh. Bimei Matityahu ben Yochanan kohein gadol chashmonai u-vanav, k'she-amda malchut yavan har'sha-a al amcha Yisrael l'hashkicham toratecha ul'ha-aviram meichukei r'tzonecha. V'ata b'rachamecha harabim amadta lahem b'eit tzaratam, ravta et rivam, danta et dinam, nakamta et nikmatam, masarta giborim b'yad chalashim v'rabim b'yad chalashim v'rabim b'yad m'atim, ut'mei-im b'yad t'horim, ursha-im b'yad tzadikim v'zeidim b'yad os'kei toratecha. Ul-cha asita t'shu-a g'dola ufurkan k'hayom hazeh. V'achar kein ba-u vanecha lidvir beitecha ufinu et heichalecha v'tiharu et mikdsashecha v'hidliku neirot b'chatzrot kodsecha v'kav'u sh'monat y'mei Chanuka eilu l'hodot ul'haleil l'shimcha hagadol.

We thank You also for the miraculous deeds and for the redemption and for the mighty deeds and the saving acts wrought by You, as well as for the wars which You waged for our ancestors in ancient days at this season. In the days of the Hasmonean Mattathias, son of Johanan the high priest, and his sons, when the iniquitous Greco-Syrian kingdom rose up against Your people Israel, to make them forget Your Torah and to turn them away from the ordinances of Your will, then You in your abundant mercy rose up for them in the time of their trouble, pled their cause, executed judgment, avenged their wrong, and delivered the strong into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of few, the impure into the hands of the pure, the wicked into the hands of the righteous, and insolent ones into the hands of those occupied with Your Torah. Both unto Yourself did you make a great and holy name in Thy world, and unto Your people did You achieve a great deliverance and redemption. Whereupon your children entered the sanctuary of Your house, cleansed Your temple, purified Your sanctuary, kindled lights in Your holy courts, and appointed these eight days of Hanukkah in order to give thanks and praises unto Your holy name.

T0Wnaged

2005-12-30T15:05:00.000-08:00

Our adventure started at 6pm, when Marc called to say the Miata had been stolen. This was quite sad news to me, because a "theft recovery" note on the title reduces a car's value by 1/3-1/2. This means that for the Miata, some kid stealing it and driving it a few blocks before abandoning it was going to cost me $1,500 on the price of the car. Quite sad.

Then Marc said, it may have just been towed. This was, under said circumstances, music to my ears. He did some research on the subject, and called me back to say that yes, it had been towed! The Manager of the ALBERTSON'S on 6th St. in San Jose had towed it. Legally, as long as Marc was shopping in the shopping center it was okay, but the Manager said that because Marc wasn't shopping at ALBERTSON'S, he had called in a tow. Mind you, the spot Marc was in was a general spot for the shopping center, and not a spot for the ALBERTSON'S. ALBERTSON'S didn't care, they had it towed anyway. And to think, they advertise themselves as a community institution.

The receptionist at the towing company said that if Marc had receipts proving he was a paying customer at the shopping center he was towed from, they would let him out without charge. Fortunately, he had two receipts. I picked him up in San Jose, and we drove into a baaaaaad neighborhood of Alum Rock.

When we got to the impound yard, it was past dark. We knocked on the door. No answer. Marc called the guy, and he said it would take 20 minutes to get a tow truck driver out there to open the door for us. So we waited in the dark.

Finally, he showed up. We went inside, and he told us, "$187.50." Marc explained the situation, and showed him the receipts, and guy replied, "$187.50." We argued with him for half an hour, and our final compromise was, "$187.50 right now, or I charge you $250 tomorrow." Nice people, impounders.

We paid, and he let our car out of car-jail. It's only a tiny Miata. We'll have to check its exhaust and tail-pipes for signs of . . . friendliness . . . during its time on the inside. I think it had a gang tattoo, too . . . we'll have to resocialize it. While Marc was getting it out, the guy told me, "You almost had it there, with all those receipts." Yeah, we did, you bastard. What you did was illegal. I wanted to punch him in the face, but the certain knowledge that you don't work a job like that in a place like that without a gun kept me honest.Marc got our Miata out, and we went home.

This picture pretty much explains the situation. Marc is the Cowboy (left), trying to free his majestic steed (not pictured) from the clutches of Sheriff Jackfuck over there. The vatos are on the right.

Quote of the Day: Gabe

2005-12-30T15:03:00.000-08:00

Gabe: my gf tricked me into telling her what I got her for christmas. I just said, "something romantic," because I haven't gotten her anything yet.
Mike: What are you thinking of?
Gabe: a hat. Ppl love hats, michael.
Mike: ...

Quote of the Day: Marc

2005-12-29T10:16:00.000-08:00

Mike: Are you at my house?
Marc: Not anymore.
Mike: Tricky.
Marc: Tricky like a walnut.

Please Read & Post a Comment

2005-12-28T00:25:00.000-08:00

Mike & I have no clue as to how many people read his blog. If you post a comment below, it will help us understand how many people read Mike's blog. Your comment doesn't have to be fancy, a simple "Hello Mike" or "Mike is definitely cooler than me" should be fine.

*If you do not have a blogger account you can still add a comment...just click on 'anonymous' when you get to the comments section and you will not need sign in.*

"Cell Phone Swalling May Have Been Assault"

2005-12-27T15:06:00.000-08:00

Cell Phone Swallowing May Have Been Assault

All of your favorite movies presented in 30 seconds (and re-enacted by bunnies).

2005-12-25T03:26:00.000-08:00

I bestow upon you:

Click Here

Clip: Family Guy "Breakfast Machine"

2005-12-24T20:03:00.000-08:00

http://badtree.com/Family_Guy.php?FN=Breakfast_Machine.wmv

Quote of the Day: Marc

2005-12-24T19:56:00.000-08:00

(19:55:05) OldNestor: if he's doing his army thing he better clean that [bathroom] before I use it
(19:55:23) onefortyfast: hey! i get a say in that! I hear you'll bring weirdos to live with us
(19:55:26) onefortyfast: that would be a problem for me
(19:55:36) onefortyfast: and aren't you supposed to be at dinner?
(19:55:46) OldNestor: they're not weird, they're my friends who happen to live on the street and shout at lamp posts
(19:55:47) OldNestor: yeah
(19:55:51) OldNestor: gotta groom myself

Where is Maria Packman?

2005-12-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

(20:38:15) onefortyfast: i wonder where Maria Packman is
(20:38:17) onefortyfast: i miss her
(20:38:27) Denis: in Kashmir
(20:38:33) Denis: brokering a secret peace deal
(20:38:47) Denis: she got a hold of 2 nukes
(20:39:03) Denis: and said, "either i blow both of you up, or we make peace"

Quote of the Day: 12/22/05

2005-12-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

Democrats filibustered in response to Senator Stevens' strategy of adding langauge to sell oil drilling leases in Alaska'a ANWR refuge to the end of a 'must-pass' military funding approval bill. Stevens sought to override Senate Rule 28, which prohibits adding new items not found in either body's version of the bill, by following the oil language with a disclosure that Senate Rule 28 was not to be violated in the future.

Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.V, spoke on the Senate floor: "Hear me my colleagues, I abhor, I abhor, I abhor this idea . . . . He is standing up for his state. But I am standing up for the Senate, the Senate's rules under the Constitution of the United States. We abandon and undermine these rules at a terrible price. This institution and the liberties that its rules protect must come first, before political parties, whether it be Republican or Democrat, and before legislative maneuvering."

The oil drilling measure had already been passed through the House and approved by President Bush. In a victory too close for comfort, however, the measure died in the Senate, 4 votes short of passing.

2005-12-20T19:49:00.000-08:00

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.
You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.
By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.
And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Roulette: Romancing the Ball

2005-12-20T09:47:00.000-08:00

At about 7pm Denis came over and we started playing roulette over an internet casino. We played until half past midnight. At this time, Marc and Denis took to playing Soul Caliber, and Frank was playing Guild Wars. I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. Then I got a funny feeling.

I went back into the living room, and told everyone I wanted to bet everything in my account on 1 spin of roulette. I figured that if I lost, my account would be empty and it wouldn't take up so much of my time anymore. I won, I would have extra $ to play with.

Everyone gathered around the computer, and I logged into the online casino. I went to roulette, then started having second thoughts. Denis reassured me, and I had a good feeling about red. I put $240 on the color, then stopped to think. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Denis put his hand over the 'spin' button, and said, "Mike, if you don't do this in 5 seconds, I will . . . " I waited five seconds, and he said, "No way I'm doing it." I didn't want to think about it, and just reached out fast and pushed "spin." We all fell dead silent, listening to the ball spinning.

Denis was the only one making noise, cheering the ball on like crazy, and asking us why we weren't singing with him for good luck. I couldn't open my mouth, I was too nervous. I thought, "come on little ball. You can do this." Finally, the ball slowed down and started bouncing around . . . it missed the green 0 by a few spaces, and landed safely in a red number. We all started screaming, and the computer showed a payout of $480.

We screamed for a long time.

Frank's Lifestyle

2005-12-19T18:54:00.000-08:00

Four pictures are worth a thousand words.

MagicBox Casino Antics

2005-12-18T23:42:00.000-08:00

This is the dialogue that transpired between a Customer Service Specialist and myself after an online casino declined my credit card because the casino account name did not match the credit card name. Keep in mind, I am completely sober as I speak to this gentleman. :)

Marc: Hi Mike
Marc: Welcome to MagicBox casino!
Player19: hello . . .
Player19: wtf do you want, sir?
Marc: the deposit got declined because the 1st name on the card doesn't match the 1st name on your casino account details
Player19: oooh no, this is terrible
Player19: my account is under "Mike" and credit card under "michael"
Marc: ok, so i can change the account name for you
Player19: All I want to do is further my addiction! Great
Marc: please hold for a moment... OK, it'll be a couple minutes until the system is updated
Player19: how long will that be?
Marc: just a couple of minutes. I'll tell u when the update is done
Player19: is this some kind of trick?
Marc: no, no trick
Marc: why do u think it's a trick?
Player19: woah woah, who said anything about a trick?
Marc: ok, that's it, it's done
Player19: I have a feeling I'm going to wake up in a bathtub full of ice in Panama again. Without a kidney.
Marc: u can try to deposit again ...
Player19: I think I might just do that
Player19: :)
Marc: :-)
Player19: I'm so sorry for yelling
Marc: no problem
Player19: you're a great guy, really. I'm drinking a milkshake, and the sugar and vodka may be too much for me
Marc: thanks
Marc: milkshake and vodka . . . sounds awful!! if you need anything just click on the yellow "online support" icon to call me
Player19: and i'll get you again? not some trick-ster, right?
Marc: just me here, at least for the next 5 hours...
Player19: so you have your finger on the red button, of sorts, ehhh?
Player19: Marc, I think you should PUSH THAT BUTTON
Player19: screw the institution!
Marc: only george w has access to the red button...
Player19: Christ, I'd rather it was you
Marc: be much safer....
Player19: even if you tried to seduce me and steal my kidney
Marc: all I have is a keyboard and 2 kidneys, so no need 4 yours ;-)
Player19: but consider this, my friend
Player19: you have access to ebay
Player19: and could sell a "novelty" kidney that "works fully"
Player19: with your keyboard
Player19: AHA, so I have unraveled your intricate scheme
Marc: yes, but how am i going to get ahold of your kidney? are u going to send it by email...?
Marc: Maybe fax it over
Player19: whatever you need to do. But you'll have to get it from a motel room in Panama to its new owner
Player19: I would bring at least TWO fax machines
Player19: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Marc: LOL
Marc: so how much can u get for a second hand kidney these days?
Player19: well, mine is perfect. I've never had a dirnk in my life
Marc: except for that vodka milkshake
Player19: WHO TOLD YOU?!?!?!
Marc: u did
Player19: ah, a cunning person
Player19: this one here
Player19: ---------->

(at this point, Marc began ignoring me)

Part II

...
...
...

(after the credit card still didn't work. Can you feel how much he dislikes talking to me?)

Player19 [enters a blank chat room]: MARC, we have a problem here
Marc [appears]: Hey Mike
Marc: yes i see
Mike: I think Visa is like, "wtf, mate?"
Marc: May I ask which bank issued your card?
Player19: Bank of America
Player19: we call it "bofa" her
Player19: there was supposed to be an 'e' in that sentence too
Marc: yes, I know. many banks restrict transactions to online casinos. bofa is one of them.
Player19: those bastards! Always one step ahead of us, huh?
Marc: u need to contact them to enable it for online gaming, but, we do offer many alternative payment methods
Player19: ...kidney?
Marc: No, we don't accept kidneys
Player19: CHRIST, nobody wants this thing!
Player19: well, if you don't accept kidneys, then THIS is a long-shot . . . but how about Neletter?
Marc: we do -- do you have a neteller account?
Player19: yes
Marc: GREAT
Marc: so just go to the neteller section of the cashier
Player19: wish me luck!
Marc: 3rd from the left on the top row
Marc: crossing my fingers for you...
Player19: uhhh . . . you mentioned "3rd"
Marc: indeed
Player19: I can't count...
Player19: will that be a problem for me at this casino?
Marc: not at all, luck is blind anyway
Marc: ;-)
Player19: then I'm the cock of the walk
Player19: woohoo
Player19: thanks for all your help
Marc: sure thing, any time you need me

Part III

... (after I feel lonely, I look him up again)

. . . Marc: on "BJ Switch" when the dealer has 22 it's always a push
140fast: is it that way when I get a 22 as well? :)
Marc: no ... still, if you play right, BJ switch is the highest payout game in the casino. Payout percentage is 99.95%.
140fast: the .05% is for yourself, right?
Marc: regular BJ is just 99.5%, and average payout of all games is 97.5%
Marc: yes, we need to keep something to pay my salary...
140fast: sweet
Marc: u don't want me to get to selling my kidneys, right?
140fast: no, no, we woudln't want that.
140fast: watch out for those hookers, Marc. Scalpels are a dead giveaway.
Marc: good, cause my kidneys' r not in the best shape...
140fast: haha, then the joke's on her!
Marc: no, I don't go to hookers, just call top level escort services.
140fast: see, that's smart. But the problem is pimpery. You order a red-head, but when the dark-haired girl shows up and you want to complain, she says you can go speak to the man waiting in the car (usually "Jimbo" or "Critter") if you have any problems. Tsk.
140fast: I've seen it a hundred times.

(at this point, Marc resumes ignoring me).

RENO!

2005-12-18T21:32:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone!

We got back from Reno tonight, after having stayed the weekend at the Eldorado. Our room was nice, but it was pretty chilly there! (Pics)

I did alright with blackjack, but for the first time my big money-maker was roulette. I used a strategy adapted from Denis of playing $4 at a time on the inside, 1 chip between 31-32, two chips on 32, and one chip on 32-33. If 31 or 33 hit, you get paid $10. If 32 hits, you get $104. Denis had me play $40 for him, and he hit, so he made quite a bit. The next day I played with 19-20-21, and hit 20 on the third spin ($104). The day before we left, I played 31-32-33, and hit 32 twice in a row! So I finished up $347 in all.

They make a drink in many casinos called a Chocolate Banana. You can get it without alcohol, which frankly tastes /much/ better. They mix milk, chocolate, blueberries, and a ton of banana. It takes like a banana-chocolate milkshake. Very yummy!

Good-night!!

Denis the Mensch

2005-12-15T23:58:00.000-08:00

Do you like Denis? If you're like Frank and I, then yes, yes you do.

Now you can see pictures from his exclusive photo shoot.

Spakoyni noche!

News for the People

2005-12-15T12:33:00.000-08:00

Actress pays speed fines.

Even better, the sources for similar articles: Honolulu Star-Bulletin - KGET 17 - People Magazine - hecklerspray - all 117 related ».

Yes, 117 related articles. Compare that with:

Possible database misuse worries Pentagon (128 related articles)
Video Comeback For Bin Laden? (107 related articles)
Suit Challenges Tuition Break for Illegals (98 related articles)
County says electronic voting machines can be hacked (36 related articles)
Navigating Medicare Drug Plans (20 related articles)
New advice for prostate cancer test (8 related articles)

Of all those . . . only the top seems to be more important than Michelle Rodriguez getting drunk and behind the wheel for a fourth (yep) time.

People, I implore you. When she's done it four times . . . is it even news anymore? Can't we just say, "Hey, 10 days have gone by" and assume?

What's Our Name? Certainly not The Galway Hooker

2005-12-14T09:03:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night Marc rallied Frank and I to make a Quiz Team. Apparently some English pub on University Avenue in Palo Alto has a well-known quiz tournament every Tuesday night. Our team name was, "What's our name?" This was the only one considered acceptable by all members. I voted for "The Galway Hooker," but was overruled (boo).

The quizzing didn't go so well, but it was a good warm-up game. Frank decided to whet his whistle, and though he viciously denied being drunk half a beer later, his constant teetering on his stool and relentless spitting when he talked told a different tale. At one point he got up and danced. Then he started grabbing his crotch for every right answer. I would add belligerence to the list, but we all know, that's just Frank.

But the best part was right after we got into my car to go home. Frank said, "I'm so, so hungry. Can we go to In 'N Out?" To mess with him, I told him that I wasn't hungry, so no, we couldn't go. Surprisingly (to all of you who know how Frank normally takes this kind of response -- with unparalleled vulgarity), he gave me a desperate look and said, "Pleeeease?" The drunk Frank is indeed a pacified one. We went to the drive-thru at In 'N Out at Mercado, and Frank decided to sit in the passenger seat and meow through the entire order. And again when we pulled up to the window to pay. Loudly.

Frank, you can't possibly argue you were not tipsy Wednesday night, because you have never before made cat-noises at the In 'N Out lady.

I rest my case.

Casino

2005-12-14T08:27:00.000-08:00

The night before last I was in the kitchen, observing AJ make dinner, when I got a funny feeling. I promptly called Denis and told him that I had a certain feeling, like a need that had to be satisfied. First he thought I was talking about sushi, but then, when I told him I had a need, he understood. He had been feeling such a need for some time, and his weekly prompting for me to fulfill my own need of this sort had finally sunk in.

At 10pm Denis, along with Ahmed Al-Qloushi, picked me up, and we headed north-east. Two hours later we arrived at Jackson Rancheria Casino. We played blackjack and poker until 4:30am, and then headed home. Unfortunately, we didn't get back into the Bay Area until 7:30am, so I had the guys just drop me off at work. A very long day ensued. I later found out Denis had fallen ill that day, and couldn't go into work. But around 5pm he started feeling much better . . .

Don't the Wheels Turn Slow?

2005-12-09T15:34:00.000-08:00

"Talks about big climate change may end with talks about more talks" - Times Online.

Today my work had its annual ice-skating party at a rink in Palo Alto. I stuck to the safe manuevers, and as a result did not fall on my butt. We then had a pot-lock lunch party. I forgot to bring anything, snuck in anyway, and was caught in an awkward social faux pa when the office manager said, "So mike, which dish did you bring?" pwnd.

Marc wants to play a game of cards later. This weekend I plan to take the rest of my online exams, and RELAX. Congratulations to all you SCU folk; another quarter in the books, eh?

Awkward

2005-12-05T14:36:00.000-08:00

>>> MIRAN SHAH, Pakistan — Shrapnel that appeared to be from an American-made missile was found Sunday at the house where Pakistan said a top al-Qaida operative was killed in an explosion, although President Bush’s national security adviser declined to confirm the death.

The metal pieces bore the designator “AGM-114,” the words “guided missile” and the initials “US.” <<<

A is for "Acronym"

2005-12-05T14:01:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows the government uses a lot of acronyms. Believe me, on the inside, hundreds float around each day. Sometimes, acronyms even have acronyms!! For instance, here on 'the inside' we know that PERC, CHCE, HERC, and QUERI all operate under HSR&D, which is partnered with MRS, CSP (also referred to as CCSPC or CCSPD), and RRDS to be governed by VARD, which operates under DUS. DUS also directs PC, which is in charge of VAMH, which in turn regulates ADS, which co-regulates PERC along with HSR&D. DUS, of course, is maintained by USH. But that is a whole different story!

I thought I would share that with you all after reading the following in a memo about recycling:

"GEMS is all about pollution prevention (P2), and P2 is all about behavior change."

Now, let me just say, never again is "P2" mentioned -- ever. Why use an acronym?? It doesn't make sense!! It's needlessly confusing and complicated. Ironic that the memo is about recycling.

2005-12-03T22:53:00.000-08:00

HELLO my darlings.

On Friday I talked to my beloved Cath right before bed, and slept for almost 13 hours. Hmmmmmm nice :) Saturday I spent all day reading Harry Potter and finished the book, then we went out to dinner for Stefan's birthday (pics!!)

Now Frank is listening to music about Lyndon Johnson, and my hands and feet are cold :( I might go buy some mittens! I have two essays due for classes tomorrow, so I hope I will sit myself down and punch them out tonight (not hard, but just a matter of putting it all into writing).

Okay, bye!!